Create memories; Be receptive to destiny point meetings as the key to further valuable memories; Maintain weak ties on social networking sites such as Facebook in order to cultivate your million dollar “rolodex”; Treat your contacts well and they’ll open the door to friends of friends (from 8/5/09)
Wednesday, August 5, 2009@ 10:31 PM
Last week I called you from a golf course in Waterton Parks, Canada, while I was enjoying a family reunion. We like to create memories with our families, and this occasion was quite special. When my family goes on trips, we look for ways to create unforgettable memories, so that in the future we will associate the year with those highlights. It’s a good idea to occasionally punctuate your average daily experiences with something that stands out. My trip to Canada was rich with family bonding experiences, accompanied by spectacular scenery. I enjoyed a long hike with my son to the peak of a summit. The views of mountain lakes were breathtaking, and our conversations were pleasurable, including those with trail passers-by. Last week, we had no access to cell phones or Internet, so it was a time to forget about the maelstrom of activities surrounding my book launch. We could hike, golf, think, pray, ponder and get perspective. I got to visit the grave site of my mother and my grandfather, reflecting on my origins and my roots. This family reunion was a way to link us to the people who had gone before, so that we might hold up the flag of “goodness” to our own generations. One day there will be a marker showing the dates of our own important lives - the day we entered this earth and the day we leave it. Whether my book is successful is really not going to make that much difference. The difference comes from the memories you make for yourself and others. What you remember is how you may have become a better person through what you experienced during the years. And I relish many magnificent memories of my own, even the ones that seem negative.
From your present perspective, you can make past memories stronger and more powerful. Even if an event was disastrous at the time, there was something good that came from it. You can remember even those memories with perspective now, and in a better context. You gained valuable lessons, courage, determination, even a needed sense of humility. No matter how much you get beat up, your dream is still alive within you. You are still here - with more character - and able to put one foot in front of the other. … On my climb last Saturday, the last two of twelve miles were agonizing, but I knew I’d get home if I kept my head down and persistently planted one foot in front of the other.
There are also memories that transpire unexpectedly. Life just happens. Be on the lookout for these destiny points. For example, my wife and I had the pleasure of meeting a young man from Ethiopia last week. He was our driver from the airport, upon our return from Canada. We found ourselves fascinated with his life story and dreams. He was open-minded and optimistic, and I have high hopes for his future. He will make great memories for himself. This was a destiny point for him and for us. I had no idea he would be my driver that day, and he had no idea I would be his customer that day. He was an unexpected delightful present, a destiny point to add to my memories. We touched each other’s lives, becoming friends in about 45 minutes. But if we’re like most people, this intersection could slip away and become meaningless for either of us.
Every day, we bump into people in casual ways. Our paths cross as a destiny point, and these individuals may touch you in a certain way. You can reinforce that memory, by doing something with the business card you might collect. Or you can be like most people, keeping your head down, resisting the interaction. You might think you have too many responsibilities, problems or opportunities you’re busy pursuing to waste time talking to someone. But often times, these individuals are the messengers with answers to your prayers. In fact, your answer can come in many forms, as clues left all around you. Be on the lookout for unexpected answers presenting themselves to you from any direction.
What if you had some systematic way to keep contact with every person you met the rest of your life? Maybe you meet about 10,000 people over the next twenty years. That’s a little more than 1 person a day on average. Most people will gather even fewer cards, which eventually get thrown away, because there was no subsequent communication. The trail had gone cold. But if instead, you establish some form of “light” friendship as an occasional communication, you not only gain a potential resource, but in time you can also watch that person’s life unfold toward his or her destiny path. If you maintain contact long enough, you’ll be exposed to that person’s struggles and achievements, which you too, can learn and benefit from. If I stay in touch with David, I am sure to see him manifest his destiny. If you are already connected with someone when they find success, the value of that contact multiplies tremendously.
It all starts with the power of maintaining the “weak tie”. A “strong tie” is not necessary — just an occasional but consistent communication method to touch base, to share information or general inspirational advice. This is how you collect valuable friendship equity. Every person you add to your network counts significantly, especially as you consider that each of them probably has at least 100 contacts of their own. Metcalf’s Law: The value of a network grows in proportion to the square of the number of users. So if you have 100 people in your network, that’s the equivalent of access to 10,000 people (100 x 100)! As your network of 100 grows even larger, the likelihood that some people have even more than 100 people in their own networks, also grows. You can network your way to riches!
Page 204 of The One Minute Millionaire: “Where are your acres of diamonds? Certainly you will find them hidden all around you — in your own talents, skills, and opportunities. You’ll also find them right in your own Rolodex. That’s why we call it your million-dollar Rolodex. The average person knows at least 250 people. Remember, each of these 250 people also lives in the middle of his or her own acres of diamonds. Then, each of these 250 pepole also knows another 250 people. So instantly, you have access to 62,500 people (250 x 250) who also are living in the middle of their own acres of diamonds! The possibilities are endless. That is why it is so important to build and nurture your million-dollar Rolodex. Here’s how. First, set a goal to build your Rolodex, working on it weekly, if not daily. Add at least one name a day of someone you want to work with, grow with, and get rich with. Your goal is to have multiple contacts in multiple fields. Stay in touch at least twice a year by e-mail blast, phone call, letter, or face-to-face. Rate each person in your Rolodex with a letter from A to D. A’s are those with the largest databases and the greatest potential for opportunity. Spend the most time cultivating your relationships with A’s. Narrow your list to your 100 “Eagles” — your “A” list of top contacts. Your Rolodex is where all of the money is ….because it forms the beginning of your business database. One of the highest forms of marketing leverage is to contact the owner of a large database and have him or her agreee to endorse your product or service to the entire database. The fastest way to market a product is to focus exclusively on the owners of databases (networks of networks), as opposed to building your own customer list. The person with the largest network of Rolodexes wins.”
I’m fascinated with this idea of Rolodex-of-rolodexes, because I need one! I’m about to launch a book, and I need help from my database now. My top “A” list of about 175 people has taken me over ten years to accumulate, although I could have been better at maintaining a relationship with them. Many started out as weak ties, as we exchanged small favors at various levels. Some of those contacts have become stronger ties. Now, I feel comfortable asking each of them to go buy ten or more copies of my new book. Mark Victor Hansen is doing the same with his list, and we’re getting some amazing favors, partly because we are offering favors and bonuses in exchange. Some of our contacts are not only agreeing to the purchase, but are also letting us use their databases to announce our book. Since our goal is to reach #1 New York Times Bestseller status, our first target is to sell at least 10,000 books by the third week in September. Most of the these sales will be generated through our combined networks, and many of you have also helped us tremendously with your pre-sale orders. We are extremely appreciative for your support!
So what’s a good system for keeping in touch with these “weak tie” people? A friend of mine recently gave me a book by Clara Shih, called The Facebook Era: Tapping Online Social Networks to Build Better Products, Reach New Audiences, and Sell More Stuff. Facebook is not the only social networking vehicle, but it’s certainly one most gravitated toward, and many of you are already using it. There are over 150 million people worldwide on Facebook. Last week, I spoke of the power of social networking, which this author calls the fourth revolution in our computer development. The Facebook system is an easy and unobtrusive way to create and maintain weak ties. Even if you’re not naturally a people person, you can set up a page without having to meet people face to face, and people don’t feel obligated to respond to your messages. It’s a powerful way to be linked, and to keep in contact with a large number of people, spreading through the six degrees of separation. What if you invited the 10,000 people you meet over the next twenty years to join your Facebook page and vice versa? Imagine the immense size of your network.
Your social capital eventually becomes the link to individuals who find their destiny path. If you maintain contact with the 10,000 people you meet over the next twenty years, some of them will achieve massive success. What do you think that might be worth to be connected to that? What if you were somehow instrumental in their success? Their own social and financial capital might be multiplied 1,000-fold. Even if only 1% of that 10,000 taps a huge vein of gold, that’s still 100 extremely valuable contacts that you were there for before they found that destiny path! They trust you, and might also owe you. For instance, what if you had previously established a light relationship with the young man who created Facebook, Mark Elliot Zuckerberg? He has the social capital of over 150 million people, not to even mention his financial capital!
Chapter ten of The Facebook Era talks about building and managing your relationships: “What ever your job or industry, you can start using and benefiting from online social networks as personal relationship management tools. Even if you aren’t in sales or recruiting, per se, at some point in your career, you will be buying or selling something. Maybe you’ll need to sell yourself as a job candidate for an open position, or as a domain expert for a project. And you just never know. But it isn’t just about social capital. Building deeper relationships with your colleagues, customers and business partners outside of work can make your job more enjoyable and fulfilling. The first step is to establish your personal presence on these social networking sites, not unlike how you established your company’s presence. Next, find friends who are also on these sites and add them as connections. There are a number of different modes of casual interaction, with which you can strengthen your relationship. You can also use online social networking to supplement offline networking, establishing better weak tie relationships. With your personal economy of social capital set up, you will then be in an ideal position to do more favors for others, as well as tap your network for favors, like finding prospective customers, job opportunities and expertise.”
You are a mini economy! Money flows in, money flows out. You are a little universe with people floating around you. If you did 100 personal favors for your immediate contacts - without expecting a return on your influence (ROI) - your personal economy has to come out of recession. There is NO recession for people with big networks. Just become a better friend, connector or associate. Some of your giving gestures have to produce results in all areas of your life - financial, social, emotional, spiritual, physical, etc. So if you aren’t already participating, go do some studying about social networking sites. One day, you will need these connections, just as I need mine right now.
Most of us don’t give enough attention to our direct group of contacts. Social networking sites can make this much easier. Consider that each person you meet is a doorway to their 100 or so closest contacts. And if every one of those friends had 100 friends, then that initial doorway could open to that next field of friends. If you treat that first one person well, without any expectation of return, then his or her doorway opens your access to 10,000 people. You should see that number on the forehead of every person you meet, and that’s only two levels in! How you treat your first group of contacts determines to what extent they will recommend you to others. If you earn respect and show integrity, you get access to the friends of the friends, which is at least 10,000 people, per person! Among those 10,000 are people with solutions to your problems, opportunities waiting, and answers to your questions. And assuming you have at least 100 direct contacts, and you treat each of them consistently well, this can effectively gain you access to 1,000,000 people (100 x 100 x 100). Social networking is a trend that is going to be with us for a long long time. So jump in the river and start swimming!








